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Gopher Jokers


siouxguyinstpaul

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If you get a new perm, you can borrow my "Soul Glow". I still have a few gallons of it left after my high school days.

So that's what's lighting up your basement. I thought you were storing nuclear waste for Xcel Energy. :D

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I thought only Triouxper knew about my "grow lights". Thanks for blowing my cover, PCM!!!!!

Judging from the number of airplanes that have attempted night landings on our street, I'd guess that it's not that big of a secret. :D

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[telethon begging voice]

Friends, there are people out there, Gopher hockey players, who need your help. They struggle to find self-esteem at playoff time. They look for it in hair treatment or nail jobs. They need guidance, and they need more.

People, we need to help raise the self-esteem of this group. We need to give them the complete package.

For just $0.77 a day you can sponsor a "day of beauty" session for your favorite Gopher mens hockey player. We'll see that it gets scheduled for them right before their next important playoff appearance.

They'll receive:

- Signature Massage

- Signature Facial

- Lunch

- Pedicure

- Manicure

- Hair Styled (basic)

- Make-up application

You'll receive the satification of knowing you did all that for a Gopher.

Imagine their self-esteem when they step onto that NCAA ice rink to face Holy Cross knowing that they have been properly quaffed (manicured, pedicured, hair, facial, and make-up) for that special day. You'll know you did it to, er, for them.

Just $0.77 per day is so little, but could mean so much to Mike Vanelli or Kyle Okposo.

Seventy-seven cents per day could make a world of difference to that special Gopher, and we know it'll bring a smile to your face too.

Call 1 800 Go Sioux, now, to make a difference.

Those Gophers, they're depending on you.

That's 1 800 Go Sioux, to add a smile to the world.

[/telethon begging voice]

The preceding announcement was sponsosed by

The Vast Fighting Sioux Conspiracy

" ... if you only knew ... "

and may not reflect the views of this station or its management.

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