star2city Posted March 11, 2003 Share Posted March 11, 2003 The following television pilot, in the tradition of Coach, Dynasty, the Wizard or Oz, and the Simpson's, was recently awarded a Gold Star at the NDSU Writer's Conference. Note: all characters and events are fictional. Any semblance to real life people or events is entirely due to the imagination of the reader. Pilot, Episode 1: Bisonvilla U President Chopman and AD Sailor are in a quandary. Their athletics program is in a funk. Their formerly emerald green, with envy, university is now screaming yellow with rage. Their rival, Siouxville U, is surpassing their program at almost all levels: championships, media coverage, quality of athletes, character of athletes, buildings, and attendance. They put their heads together and decide to call in the old sage of Bisonvilla athletics, JB Doofpsus (JBD for short). JBD, considered to be a modern-day wizard/ curmudgeon, is widely known in Bisonvilla circles as he travels from event to event in his Holiday Rambler. During tailgating, Bisonvilla fans just love to sit at JBD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
star2city Posted March 11, 2003 Author Share Posted March 11, 2003 Episode 2: During an evening volleyball match between the Bisonvilla Buffalos and the Siouxville Dakotans, Bisonvilla AD Sailor, Women Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PCM Posted March 11, 2003 Share Posted March 11, 2003 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bisonguy Posted March 11, 2003 Share Posted March 11, 2003 I'm guessing this prime time show could only be followed by Fox's When Criminal Justice Clubs Attack!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sicatoka Posted March 12, 2003 Share Posted March 12, 2003 Are these on before or after "Breaking Curfew: Star Tailbacks Gone Wild!" I need to set my VCR. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BisonMav Posted March 12, 2003 Share Posted March 12, 2003 Ed Balfour, who plays goal tender for the NHL team the Dallas Stars, was desperately trying to avoid a public intoxication arrest, offering two Texas patrolmen $100 000 to forget the whole thing. By the time they were set to haul him to the station, Balfour had vomited all over himself and upped the offer to $1 billion. Now I know sports celebrities are paid a lot of money, but even Bill Gates would probably miss a billion dollars! Right after the new episode of Cops. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WYOBISONMAN Posted March 12, 2003 Share Posted March 12, 2003 Holy SH*T....star2city must have a damn good job that affords him the time to be a part time screen writer for FOX.....What is the next pilot on the drawing board?......my guess is it must be something along the lines of "Geriatric Masturbating for Dollars".... ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sicatoka Posted March 12, 2003 Share Posted March 12, 2003 Who flipped the channel from "Fox Collegiate" to "Fox Alumni"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BisonMav Posted March 12, 2003 Share Posted March 12, 2003 Fox College newsflash: Kevin Ganett signs with Souixville. The 1995 National High School Player of the Year has committed to Siouxville. "Great size, shot and quickness", said Coach Purple Glaz. Glaz also added, "This will be Ganett's first year of College basketball." When asked, Glaz would not comment on what Ganett had done the last 8 years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sicatoka Posted March 12, 2003 Share Posted March 12, 2003 Now someone flipped it to a Woodpuppies game on Fox Sports Nuts. Is the Mild game on after this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bisonguy Posted March 12, 2003 Share Posted March 12, 2003 When does "Counterfeiting: The Easy Road To Wealth" air? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PCM Posted March 12, 2003 Share Posted March 12, 2003 When does "Counterfeiting: The Easy Road To Wealth" air? Careful. Money might decide that you need a flaming two-handed slash. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teamsioux Posted March 12, 2003 Share Posted March 12, 2003 Better be careful, Money could print enough Bochenski Bucks to pay someone to make you naysayers disappear! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bisonguy Posted March 12, 2003 Share Posted March 12, 2003 Funny money can only buy jack squat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sicatoka Posted March 12, 2003 Share Posted March 12, 2003 Now someone flipped to Fox Pre-Collegiate. Gimme the remote back, now! PS - Money's stick wasn't flaming before he delivered the two-hand slash. Now those are quick hands. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bisonguy Posted March 12, 2003 Share Posted March 12, 2003 Sicatoka, You have to CHANGE the channel, not complain about the channel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sicatoka Posted March 12, 2003 Share Posted March 12, 2003 Whose house are we in? Gimme that remote. Bison fans should not have the remote in this house. (When 'jimdahl' gets here I'll give the remote back to him.) For now, I want to flip back to Fox Collegiate and watch "Bisonville Crowd Control." I hear it's hosted by Don Knotts in character as "Barney Fife." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
star2city Posted March 13, 2003 Author Share Posted March 13, 2003 .....What is the next pilot on the drawing board?......my guess is it must be something along the lines of "Geriatric Masturbating for Dollars".... ;)Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Actually, you stole the plot line for the next planned episode: Why the visiting women's basketball teams at the BSA will continue to be touched and groped when the big-money Buffalo Teammakers are seated behind them ! P. S. Even the FOX Network rejected this episode out of poor taste. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
star2city Posted March 13, 2003 Author Share Posted March 13, 2003 Holy SH*T....star2city must have a damn good job that affords him the time to be a part time screen writer for FOX..... When you've got Keystone Kop-like characters, the writing justs flows. Bisonvilla and President Chopman, keep the laughter flowing!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScottM Posted March 13, 2003 Share Posted March 13, 2003 When does "Counterfeiting: The Easy Road To Wealth" air? Right after "Rocky Hagar Almost Comes Home: A Lifetime Special" and "Fear and Loathing in Fargo: NDSU's Blind Rush into D1, sans Conference". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bleed Green Posted March 13, 2003 Share Posted March 13, 2003 Right after "Rocky Hagar Almost Comes Home: A Lifetime Special" and "Fear and Loathing in Fargo: NDSU's Blind Rush into D1, sans Conference". Had to laugh . . . that's too funny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bisonguy Posted March 13, 2003 Share Posted March 13, 2003 I heard Shoutin' Eddie just signed a deal with CBS. He's hosting "Survivior: Too Bush-League For The Outback". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sicatoka Posted March 13, 2003 Share Posted March 13, 2003 I thought Ed Schmootz got that new gig as a contestant on "Who Wants to be a Governor." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BisonMav Posted March 13, 2003 Share Posted March 13, 2003 I heard it was CBC and hosting Hockey Night in Canada. That Hunting and Fishing show just didn't pan out. The kennel expenses were too high. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sicatoka Posted March 13, 2003 Share Posted March 13, 2003 I heard it was CBC and hosting Hockey Night in Canada. That Hunting and Fishing show just didn't pan out. The kennel expenses were too high. Are you sure it's not "The Minisoda Goopher Ticket"? I'm sure those kennel expenses were high, but then they suddenly dropped off for some reason .... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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