I am not so sure we want friends like you. That sounds painful.
One time I was drunk at a hockey game (no, no, not me) Standing/sitting next to the glass beating on it in the visitors end below the band, I think it was while I was flipping off a Badger player. Well along comes the the big Campus Cop (you know the one that is really big with the bald head) he comes up to me to stop my drunken actions.
Mind you I can hardly stand up and he tells me if I beat the glass one more time I am going to out of the arena on my ear. I told him in my drunken state I was still faster then him. For some reason he laughed at me and let me stay in the arena. I never touched the glass again ever...