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MafiaMan

ESPNInsider

By ESPNInsider
in Men's Hockey

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What is MafiaMan doing today?  

66 members have voted

  1. 1. What is MafiaMan doing today?

    • Just rolling out of bed, still in jersey reaking of booze
      7
    • Just rolling into bed, still in jersey reaking of booze
      8
    • Still at strip club
      25
    • In his seat waiting for Saturday's game
      4
    • Waking up next to Eddie the Eagle
      12
    • At store buying a new pinstripe suit to match Barry Melrose
      10

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bigmrg74 Newbie

bigmrg74

Posted
Posted

The warm, wet sensation of the village cur licking his bloated forehead coaxed Mafiaman back into consciousness. Mafiaman rose from his own pool of vomit and wiped the congealing, half-digested remnants of a wendy's spicy chicken sandwich from his bloodless cheek. as his slippery hands grasped the rough wood of the table edge he thought, "maybe I can pretend i only slipped when i bent over to puke -- i'm sure i was only out for a minute." Mafiaman lifted his bulk above the edge of the table and was greeted with the amber rays of a new dawn, rising and reflecting off of the virgin-white snows of a high alpine glacier; streaming through the window to be broken among the countless overturned shot-glasses and half-empty bottles into a million dazzling sparks. the humiliation of his defeat reached him at the same time as two white-hot daggers of pain seared their way up his optic nerves. his cry of anguish and misery was muffled by a thick, sticky goo gluing his tongue to the roof of his mouth. bile surged from his uneasy stomach and Mafiaman bent to relieve the purge. as he bent he spotted through a reddening haze a white slip of paper neatly placed under an empty bottle. the distraction relieved the moment, and Mafiaman straightened and grabbed the paper in a clumsy bear-paw grasp. as his vision cleared he made out the perfect, spidery script of Forecheck. it read: "you have learned much, young Mafiaman -- but you are not a jedi yet. da svadania, tovarish." "that damn Student drank me under the table and stuck me with the check," mumbled Mafiaman, as he slumped toward the floor and back into the welcoming arms of unconsciousness.

To site my source for this. :D;):ohmy:

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mikejm Community Regular

mikejm

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Posted
I'm trying to promote "Vaht?" as the new international response for "What the hell are you talking about?"  :ohmy:

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Actually, I think "vaht?" is already universally recognized as verbal shorthand for "what the heck was I thinking when I downed that 6-ounce glass of tequilla as a chaser to the Leinie twelve I had after happy hour was over."

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PCM Newbie

PCM

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Posted
Actually, I think "vaht?" is already universally recognized as verbal shorthand for "what the heck was I thinking when I downed that 6-ounce glass of tequilla as a chaser to the Leinie twelve I had after happy hour was over."

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

That works, too. :ohmy:

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Rick Apprentice

Rick

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Posted

I didn't vote because the right answer isn't listed.

MafiaMan is in seclusion in an East Columbus motel. Al Pearson is keeping an eye on him so he is in good hands. MafiaMan did leave the confines of the motel to wonder down to Frog Pears where he was seen snapping up all the $1.50 bottles of beer he could. At this time, I believe he's back in the protective confines of the motel. If there are any sightings on Saturday, we will post them here. But rest assured, he is not in the Twin Cities area so everyone is safe till Sunday night. :ohmy:

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MafiaMan Mentor

MafiaMan

Posted
Posted

Where do I begin? Is it an update everyone wants? Here's a quick recap along with some color commentary.

PLUS-SIDE: Having the Al Pearson charter go out of its way to pick up siouxguyinstpaul and me in Oakdale, MN.

DOWN-SIDE: Acquiring the last two seats in the bus, facing backwards and sharing leg and foot space w/two other fans. They were cool and all, but damn, not a lot of room w/four people sharing such tight quarters. Next year, to make sure I get a better seat, I will drive from Minneapolis to Grand Forks to catch the charter to Milwaukee. ???

DOWN-SIDE: In addition to my jersey smelling like booze, it unfortunately smells like smoke.

PLUS-SIDE: Contrary to popular belief on this board, neither smell was the result of my smoking or drinking. OK, I had a couple of drinks, but I'm not exactly Animal House material these days.

PLUS-SIDE: Having the Sioux faithful on the bus rolling in the aisles at my humor.

DOWN-SIDE: Most of the jokes were self-deprecating.

PLUS-SIDE: Hanging out and catching some sun with the "Al Pearson bus fans" at the hotel Saturday morning/afternoon.

DOWN-SIDE: Forgetting that my bald head can only handle so much afore-mentioned sun this early in the season. Yowza!

PLUS-SIDE: Beating the Gophers on Thursday night sure quieted the Minnesota faithful and made for a fun Friday all day and Saturday morning/afternoon for the fans in green.

DOWN-SIDE: Having to restrain myself from punching Gopher fans in the face after seeing the smirks on their faces following the DU game Saturday night.

PLUS-SIDE: Seeing the Sioux play their hearts out Saturday night and feeling that although the team I cheered for lost, that they had accomplished plenty this season. Thank you for a hellofa run.

DOWN-SIDE: Seeing nine seniors skate off the ice for the last time as a member of the Fighting Sioux.

PLUS-SIDE: Jake Brandt and Coach Hakstol giving a quick wave to the Sioux fans as they exited the Schottenstein.

DOUBLE-BONUS PLUS SIDE: The number of Sioux fans in our section who politely clapped when the PA announcer called out the 2005 NCAA Hockey champions. A class act, fans, and you know who you are.

PLUS-SIDE: All the Maine fans who seem to love Sioux hockey.

DOWN-SIDE: Being single handedly responsible for destroying years of Sioux/Black Bear goodwill by teasing Mainers about those east-coast accents and "wicked haaaad slaaaap shots."

PLUS-SIDE: I saw Ed Belfour at the arena and even got to shake his hand.

DOWN-SIDE: Apparently Ed is still in pretty good shape as he chased me all the way to the Horseshoe and beat the snot out of me after I asked him if I could take a picture of his girlfriend and use it as my new avatar.

PLUS-SIDE: No, I did not make the baptism. The family was totally cool w/it.

DOWN-SIDE: Since I didn't call my sister until 1:00 pm Friday afternoon when I was already in Columbus, the point was pretty much moot.

PLUS-SIDE: The Ohio State University has the hottest 18-22 year old women I've seen on any college campus.

DOWN-SIDE: I'm 34 years old and they're totally out of my league.

PLUS-SIDE: Plenty of good souvenir stores in Buckeye-land.

DOWN-SIDE: Do not...I repeat...DO NOT...ask them if they sell Michigan Wolverine stuff.

PLUS-SIDE: Stunningly enough, our bus arrived in St Paul at 8:00 pm and I did make the 9:00 pm Sunday night Catholic mass in Minneapolis on the U of M campus.

DOWN-SIDE: Unfortunately, it was 71 degrees out tonite and I did not feel like sweating my butt off wearing my Sioux jersey in church. I was gloating inside, though.

DOUBLE-DOWN-SIDE: Going to the 9:00 pm mass delayed my response time to this message board.

PLUS-SIDE: Meeting about 40 new friends on the bus to and from Columbus.

DOWN-SIDE: Saying good-bye to you all at about 8:00 pm tonite. Don't be strangers...drop me a line. I hope that our paths cross again. Thanks for a great time!

MafiaMan

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Fedorov Newbie

Fedorov

Posted
Posted
DOWN-SIDE:  Apparently Ed is still in pretty good shape as he chased me all the way to the Horseshoe and beat the snot out of me after I asked him if I could take a picture of his girlfriend and use it as my new avatar.   

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

If Eddie didn't get you, Jim would have. ???

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MafiaMan Mentor

MafiaMan

Posted
Posted

More random musings from Columbus...I swear, they were coming to me in my sleep!

PLUS-SIDE: Stepping on the Al Pearson Special in Oakdale and having the person in the third seat I see on the bus blurt out "MAFIAMAN!".

DOWN-SIDE: Stepping on the Al Pearson Special in Oakdale and having the person in the third seat I see on the bus blurt out "MAFIAMAN!".

PLUS-SIDE: Tim (the name has NOT been changed to protect the innocent) from Grand Forks, upon finding out that I am MafiaMan: "You're MafiaMan? Wow. I feel like I should have you sign my jersey or something. I read you all the time...you're a legend!"

DOWN-SIDE: Sadly, Tim was dropped off in Fargo, promptly placed in a straight-jacket, and transported to Jamestown for a psychological evaluation. Get well soon, Tim! We're all pulling for you.

PLUS-SIDE: Building public relations w/the local girls in Columbus by chatting w/them about Sioux hockey history, the city of Columbus, and shopping for shoes.

DOWN-SIDE: Seeing that good PR wrecked when "Finley Jeff" (again, the name has NOT been changed to protect the innocent) joins in and promptly asks me to help his chances with the ladies by informing them that he spent a few years in the National Hockey League.

PLUS-SIDE: Finley Jeff, however, has heard so much about siouxsports.com, that he will no doubt head to Grand Forks today to buy himself a computer.

PLUS-SIDE: Chatting w/another poster on the bus who tells me that Jim Dahl had some things to say about me.

DOWN-SIDE: "That guy is obsessed with boobs."

PLUS-SIDE: Our hotel being right across the street from The Platinum Fox.

DOWN-SIDE: An apparent shortage of silicone and saline in Columbus.

Now back to work!

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