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Posted

#1

Ole was out of town on a business trip.

One night Lena calls him and tells Ole that someone had broken into the house.

Ole asked "did the burglar get anything?"

"Well yeah," Lena said "At first I thought he was you!"

#2

Q: Why did the blonde have square boobs?

A: She forgot to take the kleenex out of the box.

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Posted
Did you hear that BP stopped the oil leak?

They put a wedding ring on the pipe and it quit putting out.

:glare:

I wish. Tar balls on Perdido Key and possibly closing the beaches due to health concerns. :glare:

Posted

I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 92). We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him.

The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time.

When the teenager had had enough, he sarcastically asked, 'What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?'

Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response, knowing he would have a good one, and in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response.

'Got drunk once, and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.

Posted
I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 92). We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him.

The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time.

When the teenager had had enough, he sarcastically asked, 'What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?'

Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response, knowing he would have a good one, and in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response.

'Got drunk once, and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.

That's awesome.

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