Great post. What I've learned:
1. You can purposely run over a goalie, laugh about it during the ensuing scrum, and finish the game.
2. You can grab a players face mask right next to Brad Shepherd and it's not a major penalty and a game as per the rule.
3. Head contact penalties do not apply to all players in the league.
4. Its okay to go after an official and require two linesmen to hold you back while you scream obscenities at the official, but not okay to question a call (ten minute misconduct actually) on your way to the box after a questionable call and your team holding a one goal lead late.
5. Guys who dive right after their team has been penalized to get an even up call will never....ever....ever.......ever......get an embellishment penalty.