I agree in most part with your assessment. I think Joe has to get mean! He has to use his size to his advantage, make people step aside when they see him coming. Since he's been with the Sioux, I wonder if his mindset needs readjusting.
I have a 'big' kid who played hockey for 13 years in school and is still playing hockey. Everytime he touched a guy, the guy went flying. I have an old film when he pushed, not checked, a guy off the puck and the kid slid down the ice about 20 feet. I think they were ten or eleven yrs old at the time. Even though his moves were usually clean hits/nudges/checks/pushes, 9/10 times my kid was sent to the box. Could be this is what Joe went through? He needs to get over that and start hurting people.
There have been a lot of defensemen that have come into our program that struggled at first and then 'blossomed'. I hope Joe blossoms soon!!! If not, he should sit.