DaveK, I have said it before and I will say it again, you are watching the wrong sport. I realize that Grand Forks doesn't have a lawn bowling pitch but I am sure you can find something to go with your mint juleps and dainties.
If you insist on being a hockey fan move to Scandanavia. There the players can do all the nasty stickwork and biting they want without fear of any fists coming their way.