iSpider

I thought your OC called a pretty good game, especially the flea-flicker. As to the reverse or end-around, no one knows what he or others in the press box saw on the field that led him to make that call (If indeed it was his call. Does your QB have authority to audible? Does the HC ever override the OC or make the call? IMO, without that knowledge, he shouldn't be second-guessed. If you recall, UR lost 6 yards on the first play of the game on the same type of play. Most all year we had thrown a long pass on 1st down to try to stretch the field. It was the wrong call that we made, but I understand the logic. Things don't always go as planned, even when called by experts who are making such decisions. As to the blocked punt, I am certain that the UR coaches saw an opening in your punt protection that made them go for the block, either in prior punt protection in this game or in the film they reviewed. We have not attempted to block a punt all season regardless of where the score and time stood. If there is an opening in punt protection, though it is probably discernible by the typical fan, it is probably something simple that can be easily fixed. Incidentally, while I am obviously glad that we won, I feel for your loss. I know it must be disappointing to you, especially in view of your lead in the third quarter. That said, as I posted in another thread on this board, I was very impressed with the class, talent and energy of your team and your program. The game could have gone either way. After your first drive for a TD in the third quarterI was ready to throw the TV out the window. You have a very bright future and you have many playoff victories ahead of you far more significant this one loss. I doubt that it will be long before you are competitive with NDSU who, like it or not, has been the class of FCS for the last five years. Good luck to you guys. You have the talent, coaching, and class to go far.

I was impressed with your team yesterday despite the loss. We were very fortunate to beat you in a game that could very easily have had a different result. You are a very good team, but you should be even better next year and in the years following. I am impressed by your running backs and your overall team speed, especially with respect to your defensive linemen and safeties. You have two great running backs and your quarterback will mature and become more consistent with his passing which hurt you a bit in some critical situations. Greater depth is very important and that will improve as well. This is Rocco's 5th year at UR and it is the first year in which he has been able to develop the quality depth needed to compete with the loss of many starters. But depth is more important than most people can imagine in that it not only allows you to adequately replace lost starters but to maintain a high energy level and avoid fatigue during the game. Your defense is excellent against the run, but it appeared to me that they wore out in the 4th quarter. Depth in that area with more game time substitution will fix that for sure. I see you soon becoming competitive with NDSU who, like it or lot, has been the best team in FCS for the last five years. Your coaches and players showed a lot of class both on the field and also in their post-game interviews. Both teams showed mutual respect during the game and played with a lot of emotion, two talented teams with a lot of class and character. Your players believe in your coach who seems to be a man of quality and as well as coaching knowledge and talent. I understand your disappointment with the loss, but in your future there will be several more victories of more importance than losses such as this. So good luck to you guys. You have a lot to look forward to in not only the success of your football program but also in the growth and enthusiasm of your fans as you work toward a greater success in the playoffs.

I'll tell you what gives. The savants at 5Dimes have now had time to digest my strategic plan and they have seen the responses on this board and reviewed several interviews with your players and coaches so that they can now very clearly see that the impact of my psychological attack is working very effectively. Good luck sleeping tonight. And don't forget to forgo breakfast tomorrow morning because you won't be able to keep it down.

I will. I promise. Just as soon as you tell me what that thing is on your head.

Thanks. I was able to view the predictions.

So said Shakespeare in the Elizabethan era. Brevity has no place on a football message board. "Longwindedness is the soul of banter." iSpider, "Successful Psychological Attacks in FCS," republished from The Place and Purpose of Longwinded Posts in Mounting An Effective Psychological Attack, New York Times, March 2, 2014.

Nothing could be further from the truth (Well, maybe some things) and I am not a mocker. Never have been and I have been around for a while. Never mocked anyone or any team on any message board. My posts are intended to be humorous, but certainly not in a mocking way. And as to protecting myself from ridicule if we lose, you are not even close. Should that occur, I'll be over it in 10 minutes and focusing on basketball. You clearly have misread my messages. I am not mocking, not being condescending, nothing of that nature whatsoever. I am just playfully pulling your chain. So turn on your sense of humor and get onboard. Not my favorite thing to do, but the following is a truthful and serious statement, and I am only going to say it once: I do in point of fact believe that it will be a close game but that we will win. I think that even with our loss of personnel due to injury we have a better team than you this year and that we are very motivated. We remain in contention mainly because of our depth, but also because of our record in games when the chips are on the line. It is an accurate assessment that your competition has not been equal to some others in the playoffs this year. That is pretty much undeniable, but not a big deal. Every team gets that type of schedule every so often. However, you have not distanced yourself from any of your competitors. Further, it has to hurt you that you have been 21 days without a game. By virtue of that fact, your team should be rusty. So there. You have it: the absolute truth with respect to my opinion about this game. As for your program, I truly respect most everyone in your conference, UND and UNI especially this year, and Montana in most years, despite what the NDSU fans had to say about UND. I recognize that they fear your future development and threat to their heretofore dominance in your state. We have played many of the teams in your conference or in a three-state area of your school over the years. Won some, lost some. Not a big deal either way. So while I hope we win, I will not gloat if we do. And, like I said before, if we lose, I will be one of your biggest fans all the way to Frisco. Is that clear, son? I SAID, IS THAT CLEAR? Now enough of this nonsense. Stop making me pause and take care of the serious, truthful, boring and inconsequential stuff. I need to get back to my bantering. I feel like a fish out of water.

I check 5Dimes every week during the season. Usually, I just check to box "college extras" and all FCS games come up. However, all I can get this week are Divs I &II. Which box do you check to get FCS predictions to come up on 5Dimes? Is there another way to access FCS games there other than the way that I mentioned? How do you do it? Your help will be appreciated. Thanks.

I think someone must have made a run to Costco for your bird. Unless I hear otherwise, I am going to call him Bert. Bert's gestures in that clip resemble mine once I have had a drink or 10.

Not to worry. We are not likely to get close to any goal posts in front of us. They will be to our rear...and not that far away. FG and XP attempts???? Surely you jest.

Which one? Naw, I was just kidding. We should have KJ (Kevin Johnson) just like last week.

So that is what a "Fighting Hawk" looks like? Ummmmm. Not terribly ferocious. Sorry, but he looks a bit unbalanced. Not that there is anything wrong with being unbalanced. Got a bunch of cousins who are unbalanced. Inbreeding would be my guess as to the cause for them. But is a story for another day. The bird is pretty cool. Just not quite what I expected. But I like him. I mean I really like him. I think we could become good friends. Goofy birds like me too. Too much sometimes. I have had to fend them off from time to time throughout my life. Had thoughts of being an ornithologist until I experienced their excessive attraction to me. What do you call him? Alfred? Bert? Clyde? Bubba? Whatever, he seems confused and bedazzled. I think if he were my bird, I would change his diet. Apparently, Spiders do not set well with him. Once I initiate my psychological attack, he will probably no longer be able to fly...or walk, other than as though in a drunken stupor. Not to worry, though. The psychological effects will wear off by Monday or Tuesday and they will have no long term impact. He will recover just fine.

Before you guys lay out any more money for your wagers, you should wait a half hour or so for 5Dimes' calculation of the impact of my strategic plan. Just sayin'

Contrary to what I posted previously with regard to providing you with a summary of my suggested strategic plan, I am short on time and therefore providing a copy of my full memo to Coach Rocco. I am submitting it to him simultaneously. I have not yet been given his approval to proceed, but expect that momentarily. MEMORANDUM Date: Dec 2, 2016 To: Coach Rocco From: iSpider RE: REVISED AND AMENDED STRATEGIC PLAN FOR INEVITABLE LOSS TO UND After a much closer review of the injury lists and other reports, here is how I see the game tomorrow and what I recommend: Sounds like we, much more than they, are beset with injuries resulting in the loss of many of our critical players. We lost two of our first-team all-CAA players to injury in QB Lyle Lauletta and Safety David Jones. Our third all-CAA player is a receiver, and we do not have a QB who can pass to him. Our second string QB was suspended and our third string QB now reportedly has a bug and may not play. The fourth stringer was worse than horrific against W&M. He was 1 for 7 with 2 interceptions. But the miracle is that with his slight frame he did not also suffer a season-ending injury. In that regard, I applaud you in directing him to take a knee on every down after 5 minutes into the third quarter. We have also lost our starting and back-up running backs, both with torn MCLs. Our DL has lost three starters, possibly four. Our OL is missing three starters and we have also lost two off the two-deep. Five of the players we had to run back punts and kickoffs are out with injury. For sure, this will be a war fought in the trenches. But it will not be on a scale of say China vs. Russia; It will be more similar to the magnitude of Uzbekistan vs. Russia, we being Uzbekistan, who, incidentally, does not have a standing military and UND being Russia. That said, as I stated in our phone conversation a few moments ago, I recommend the institution of a massive psychological attack on the UND fanbase, team, and coaches in a final, desperate hope that it will bring the Spiders within the margin of what might be considered a respectable loss. I volunteer to carry out this mission for the compensation we agreed upon. We all know that our only chance of a respectable loss lies in my ability to harass UND to the point that their psychological frustration overwhelms their ability to concentrate and perform. With your permission, I will initiate this attack immediately. It will be carried out on many fronts, the most important being the UND football message board. Inasmuch as I was a drama major in college, and have no prior psychological training, I will need some prep in order to accomplish my goal. Not to worry, however, I am up for the task and will be fully armed once I finish "FCS Football Psychology for Dummies" which was delivered last night from Amazon. I have already completed chapters 1 & 2 so that intermediate measures can begin at once. Coach, rest assured that the onslaught is nigh upon UND. Within hours they will begin to experience the impact of my attack. It will begin slowly, almost imperceptibly. But it will metastasize at a rapid pace. They will not be able to sleep tonight. Saturday morning they will not be able to keep down their breakfast. The fans will gag when attempting to drink their tailgate beverages. I will leave the rest of the effects of my attack to your imagination.

Obviously, they are aware of our QB situation. The line will undoubtedly change again once I release my suggested strategic plan to Coach Rocco. Meanwhile, were I a Fighting Hawks fan, I would be out mortgaging my home to find additional funds to wager.