NDSU letter Response

[Phil potoowski]

NDSU is OK. It's always nice to have options if you can't get into UND.

Instead of a plagiarized rambling open letter I figured I would keep it simple so the NDSU students could follow along while recuperating from a massive mikes hard lemonade hangover from this past weekends misfortune.

The following NDSU info is verified anecdotal science:

1) According to USDA data NDSU ranked #1 for the highest consumption rate of Mountain Dew, Pork Rhinds, and Hot Dogs of any Major Public University System in US.

2) HHS reported NDSU students achieved a average BMI of 36 by year 5 of college. Please don't wear yoga pants.

3) UND Hockey team gets invited to White House upon winning national championship. NDSU football team got invited to Fargo North High School for pep rally.

4) College Gameday was awesome for ND...but there is a reason ESPN picked a "off campus" location to set up stage and host the nationwide TV event. NDSU campus ambiance is similar to a Walmart bathroom the day after thanksgiving.

5) Texas Longhorns came up with the hook'm horns hand signal....NDSU fans now parade around flipping the horns like it originated in Fargo. Unoriginal...and last I checked Buffalo have little stubby midget horns...the new hand signal should be holding up knuckles not Cheetos stained fingers. Hook'm short n stubby horns.

6) DNA sample from Thundar (name of NDSU mascot) found significant % of Holstein milk cow genetic markers. This explains the utterectomy procedure Thundar underwent.

7) Thundard has UND in the name...interesting

We will stop at 7...Just like the # of Div. 1 (the real one) National championships hanging from the greatest hockey arena in the USA.

Back to work,

phil pootowski